"Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?"
Love is a verb. That’s why each time Peter responds to Jesus’ question Jesus includes an action: Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep. Love is revealed in what we do.
We are here today to show love for the Pride community. Now, I could spend the next 10 minutes offering insights into why this is important. I think the folks gathered here already know. So, let’s spend this time exploring how we might embody love for the Pride community not only during this worship or during June or during local Pride events in August, but every day. Let’s talk about pronouns.
Pronouns are a simple thing. We use them constantly instead of using people’s names or other identifiers. We use them for ourselves – I am telling you this right now. The challenge isn’t I, you, and we. It is the way in which he and she pronouns are tied to a gender which may or may not be true for the person to which you are referring.
Pronouns can be the smallest and simplest way to affirm someone’s identity or undermine their sense of self. Can we imagine what it might feel like if someone used a pronoun for us different from what we are accustomed? What would it be like if I said of Bonnie’s reading – didn’t he read well today? Or if I said of Mr. Chris, isn’t she doing a good job with the PowerPoint today?
Pronouns matter. So, it is loving if we practice so that we are better able to use the pronouns that honour the people around us. In essence, we can see this as feeding lambs, tending sheep, and feeding sheep.
Let’s start with they/them. Now, before you tell me that they/them should only be used in reference to multiple people, know that the Oxford English Dictionary dates the singular use of they/them to as early as 1375. On top of that, we do all the time. If you were to find a wallet, say, on the street. You don’t say “Someone lost his or her wallet. I should check it to see if I can find a way to get it back to him or her.” Rather, we say: “Someone lost their wallet. I should check it to see if I can find a way to get it back to them.”
We use they/them in reference to a singular person all the time when gender is unknown. So, let’s practice doing this intentionally to honour those who may find this pronoun set meaningfully represents them. Introducing our Pride kitty who uses they/them pronouns. In groups of say 3-4 people. Make up a story about kitty. Each person is challenged to add a sentence or two to the story that includes at least one they/them/their pronoun.
How did we do? Does anyone want to share their story? Having practiced this a bit, consider using they/them pronouns whenever you talk about me. It is actually the pronoun set that I feel honours me the best.
Let’s make it a bit more challenging. Neopronouns are pronoun sets developed somewhere between the 19th century and today. These pronoun sets are designed to be used in reference to a single person without specific ties to the ways in which male and female have been constructed.
In many instances, neopronouns are connected to they/them pronouns with a gender-neutral twist. For example, ney/nem/nir pronouns used by Sydney are used like they/them/their except the ‘th’ has been replaced by ‘n’ which stands for neutral, something that resonates with Sydney. So, when using these pronouns, you can think about how they/them/their might apply and then make a quick switch. It does take a bit of practice.
Because we love Sydney and want to honour Sydney. Let’s practice using nir pronouns. Introducing our Pride Unicorn who uses ney/nem/nir pronouns. Same idea – groups of 3-4 people. Make up a story about the Pride Unicorn each contributing a sentence or two using at least one ney/nem/nir pronoun.
How did we do? Does anyone want to share their story? Note, the more you practice, the easier this becomes.
Feeding lambs, tending sheep, and feeding sheep is not something that just happens, it takes some knowledge, effort, and building relationships to the animals. Likewise, showing love towards those who are gender diverse and use different pronouns also requires some knowledge, effort, and building relationships. Love is revealed in actions. May we continually choose to learn, practice, and engage in relationships that are respectful and reciprocal as a sign of love towards those who are part of the Pride community. This we pray as we sing: All the Colours of the Rainbow